The Choice

Again, this post will be no help, only the people involved would understand what I wrote. Sorry about all these but its a big part of my life. Useful posts will come up next=]

*Tick Tock Tick Tock*

The sound of my watch grow extensively loud today, a big choice is upon me, a junction in front of me, both leading to an unknown future. The ticking is like a constant reminder to me, time is the essence. I know, when the choice is made, there will be no turning back, no regrets. I admit, its been a real burden, occupying my mind each and everyday. But now, the choice will be made, and it is made.

The sound of my watch later got overwhelmed by the sound of my heartbeat, staring blankly at my computer, fingers on top of "ENTER", mind shrouded, thinking: " Is this what I want? There will be no guarantee what happens next will be in my favor." Still unsure, a clear voice spoke: "The path you chose may not be the life you wanted, but you are sure that the life you have now is not what you wanted." So, I hit "ENTER". There goes my choice, hope is the only thing I can depend on right now.

I am sure, more rumors about me will rise and spread. I can only take that as a part of my punishment, for hurting someone, or a kind of retribution, although its far from enough, at least, its something for me to feel less guilty about. Rumors about me I don't care that much, I know what I am doing and What I will be facing. I've made a choice, the consequences had already gone through my considerations. What I am worried about is the consequences that will fall upon others with my choice. Someone would end up getting hurt, another might suffer from more rumors. Therefore, I shall take my own responsibility for my choice. Better or worse, its my choice, its the burden of the consequences I shall bear.

I am no saint and I never will be. I've been selfish and more by making this choice. I am not my normal self by making this choice. Normally, I would play safe, knowing there's no guarantee by choosing this, I would not go for it. But, this time, something about this choice had made me abandon my principles, my guidelines for safety. I decided to risk everything, to give up what I have in hand, to go for the uncertain future of this choice. Again, all I can do now is hope for the best.

I never regret the times I shared, and I never will. Its just that time goes by, after all those incidents, it changed me. I loved, I cried and I am tired of all those. Don't worry, it is not the other choice that made me give up the other. Its just that, I am tired. Who knows what will happen next? Might be better, might be worse. But, I will keep one sentence in mind, by my friend Mr. Jeremy Lim:" Comparison is the worst a man can do. " Never compare the choices and appreciate for whatever I will get.

This is the end. This is also the beginning of a whole new chapter of my life. Thanks my friends for being there for me, again. Mr.act cute king, Mr.love saint, Mr.sorry,Mr.probation and Ms.cat. You guys gave me opinions when I am in need. Thanks.

*The end of one is the beginning of another"

Rumors

To think one could assume he/she knows the a person just by hearing some opinions from others, it just doesn't make sense. To know a person, without really spending time with the person, just by mere words, now, that's ridiculous.

These "opinions from others" may just be words, but bare in mind, words sometimes can prove to more powerful than any weaponry, yet, action speak louder than words. So, my friends, to really know a person, I think, one should really spend time with the person, get to know him. And, I find out that most of the time, the person's actions does speak louder than the words(rumors).

To judge a person, I'd say NEVER judge a person. My brother once told me:" Never be the judge of others, you are not him". Although he told me not in this circumstance, yet, I can still put it in use in my daily life. Yes, who are we to judge them? Are you perfect? Nobody is, so, stop being a hypocrite and start making yourself a better person. Sometimes I wonder, people can talk bad about others all the time, when can they talk bad about themselves? Sometimes, looking in a mirror often doesn't mean that you're narcissistic, look in a mirror to know who you are, both good and bad.

Truth is, I myself, have heard a lot of rumors regarding me. Surprisingly, I didn't get mad, not one bit. Some of the rumors are so bizarre, that I almost believed it myself. I would think, am I really like what they are describing me? Then, I laughed. I find this all very amusing. To think that some stranger I never talked to would know so much about me, in fact, judging on the words he used, know me more than I know myself. Now, that is funny! Now, to all rumor-givers, please forward your comments about me to me. Don't worry, I won't bite =P.

I know there are a lot of rumors about me going on outside, never good ones. Yet, I've learned not to care that much about what people think about me. I would do things I want to, not offending morality, not against the law, and what I think is right. My mom told me once (translation from mandarin) : " Their mouth is born theirs, whatever they wanna say, let them, we just do our part." That brings me to this, if we spend most of our time worrying about what people think of us, won't we be the puppets of their will, indirectly? Be yourself always, take advice from others, wisely and I think a lot of things will go better.

I admit, sometimes a little bit of comment about others in a form of a rumor can be funny. Yet, I always leave the comments at the table. I mean we had our laughs, who knows for real it is true or not, so just leave it there. I can't stop more rumors from spreading but I'll do my part as to stop any rumor that reached me. I bear them in mind, and I search for the truth myself. Nothing is more assuring than what I experienced myself. =]

Lastly, even if you trust someone completely, and he tells you some rumor about a person, would you still believe it? For me, I won't. As, there're too many uncertainties. Example, he might be seeing things from a different point of view, he might hear things from others and maybe he just hates him=]. But, when a guy hates the other, it doesn't mean that I must hate the other guy too. Approach the other guy, know him for yourself, nothing is more assuring than being able to know him yourself.

Guys, stop rumors. We are still human beings, we are not perfect. Look in a mirror and improve ourselves before we comment about others.=]

"Words, they kill. Words, they heal"

Holiday

Holiday mode...off for 1 weeks=P

But then, a little update about my life. Wow! This will be short=P

Well, lets start with my relationship status, as many of my friends would wan to know. Hmm...It started really complicated, things got real messy, I have to make a choice which I won't repeat a second time in my life. Its torture. For those who dont understand how it feels, they would say I am lucky. Well, I hereby say that its not all fun and games, its really mental torture. Then, decision made, things got simpler. We were together again, we were happy, thought everything has been settled. Yet, problems are still there. Well, might as well try to solve it=D.

Other than my relationship problem, others seem to go well. I am having my holiday a lot better than I thought. For your information, I thought I would spend at least half of my holidays in front of the computer. Luckily, I didn't. Thanks to all my friends, and of course my family. My appetite seems to be back also.=] It has been a nightmare for me since I cant what I want. My stomach seemed to be protesting against me for the past few weeks. At least now I'm back, eating all along the way! hahaha^^

One more thing, something came in mind, rumors. About this, this will be the next post. For now, holiday!!=D

Ok.. that's a little bit update about my life, more "useful" posts will come after these 1 week of holidays. *have to admit I'm quite lazy* See you guys in 1 week=]